Turmoil
by WizardG
Summary: The night of the Triwizard Final, Harry was in shock and then given the dreamless sleep potion. We never really got any insight into what really went through his head in the following days. How did he deal with all the emotional trauma. This is my take on what goes through his mind when he first opened his eyes and before Madame Pomfrey checks up on him. *One Shot* Read and Review.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. I am making no money out of this. (Some one please tell me if we really need to write the disclaimer despite agreeing to the site's terms)

He's back. Voldemort's really back. Everything has changed!

I can't let him harm anyone else. What if it's Hermione, Ron, or Sirius next? I just got Sirius back; he starved himself in an icy cave, just to be close to me for Merlin's sake! He escaped Azkaban, just to keep me safe.I can't let him hurt them, not after he took Mum and Dad away from me! Mum and Dad, they saved me again! Voldemort has Pettigrew, that traitor would tell him everything, he doesn't care who gets hurt as long as he saves his dirty hide. I should have let Sirius and Remus kill him last year, he wouldn't have escaped and this wouldn't have a happened. And Cedric would be alive! Oh Cedric! I should have known something was wrong when we landed in the graveyard, I could have pushed him away…Bloody Hell! I should have taken the cup! Cedric didn't need to die! He wasn't a spare, he was a good person. He stood up for me, even when he had all the reasons not to. He even tried to call off the match when those Dementors got to me. He really was the true Hogwarts champion! He was the best of us all! Fudge has the gall to call his death an accident! It was a murder and the world needs to know, I won't let Cedric's death me made a mockery of! I must talk to his parents, I must tell them how brave and courageous he was, who am I kidding they would already know that, he was their son and Merlin knows Mr. Diggory is so proud of Cedric, but I must tell, how much Cedric loved them. They need to know that even beyond death he thought of them. They need to know, if I could I would have gladly taken that killing curse for Cedric. They need to know!

I need to get out of here, I need to find a way to learn and train, I can't be sitting duck, anymore! Not when that lunatic is out to kill everyone. I cannot stand-by while he harms anyone else, I know I can't fight a war, but I won't be a liability anymore. Every fucking year something awful happens and I am caught right in the middle of it with my pants down! No more, I will do everything in my power to learn everything and more. I did it all of last year, I can do it again. I will read more and practice more. I won't ever forget Cedric's death! Ever!

I need to get out of the infirmary. Maybe, I can get Hermione to sneak some books in while I am here. I wonder if Remus could help, he is the best DADA teacher we have had; thinking of teachers, Hogwarts really needs to improve the DADA teacher screening process. Quirrell had Voldemort sticking out of his head, Lockhart was a fraud, and Moody wasn't really Moody! For fuck's sake Crouch masqueraded as Moody for the whole year and no one picked on the peculiarities, Ron and I were in the Slytherin common room for less than an hour and we would have been easily recognized had Malfoy stopped being a git for a second! Snape, that git had to blame us for stealing all the Polyjuice ingredients for the entire year, that insufferable asshole! Only if he had monitored his ingredient stores better. Well at least he has the Veritaserum for real. I should ask Hermione if we can brew it, Morgana knows it might come in handy, knowing all the shit Draco and his ilk will put us through next year since Snakeface is back!

I should really thank Hermione for sticking with me throughout the year, for all the shit she went through this year with me! She researched with me, she helped me practice even when she didn't have any time off of her classes, assignments and exams…that girl is a life saver, literally! Hell, she even made time for me despite dating Krum! I think I need Hermione more than I realized. Wow! Did I just think that? What am I even thinking? No Hermione likes Krum; she doesn't like me that way. Do I like her that way? What about Cho? She must be heartbroken about Cedric. Should I talk to her? How do I talk to her? Maybe I should ask Hermione, there's Hermione again! I hope she visits soon, I miss her, I don't want to be alone here. I need to ask her to help me to figure this out, maybe we can prepare a lesson plan for the holidays, and maybe I can go visit her! No that wouldn't work would it, not with Voldemort back, I can't let her become a target, nor her parents, I lost mine I won't put hers in danger. But she'll be in danger as long as she's my friend, but I need her as my friend. She and Ron and Sirius are the only family I have!

Mum and Dad, you saved me again. Come to think of it, of all the time I hoped you would come and take me away form the Dursleys, if you would protect me... after what you did on that cursed Halloween night, and what Dumbledore told me about Mum's sacrifice and how her blessing saved me from Quirrell in 1st year, and then last night, you were always there with me. I won't fail you again! I won't let that be in vain, I will fight this and I will become stronger, no matter what it takes.I will beg Dumbledore to let me stay here for the summer, maybe he will make an exception now that Voldemort's back, safety at Dursely's is all fine and dandy, but that's 2 months wasted. He must understand, I have to be prepared. I have to be stronger. Maybe I should I ask the real Professor Moody, he must be pissed at Voldemort, maybe he can give me some pointers. Maybe he could help me convince Dumbledore to let me stay here...If he wasn't safe at his home, How could I possibly defend myself.

Here comes Madam Pomfrey. How did she know I was awake? I hope these potions taste better than skelegro, I would gladly take a broken bone over the crucio any fucking day. Madam Pomfrey, Bless her! I would have dead or disabled if it wasn't for her. Maybe she can teach me to how to heal, myself. Maybe if I wasn't that banged up I might I have reached the cup faster and Cedric…

***  
 **Author's Note:** This story was result of a sleepless night, so initially stands as a one-shot, but I have since then played with the idea of what would other characters think during the same period of time. Also, my version of Harry appears love-sick for Hermione in his musings, well that's how i envisioned it.


End file.
